I've been writing in the paper journal again finally. Here are a couple of entries I wrote this past week.Sun, Sept. 4, '05, 6:30 pm @ a Beaches Second Cup
I like fall. It makes me want to write. Like, with a pen and paper and everything. And soon I'll be able to wear jackets and sweaters without looking like a sweaty freak. And my indie girl glasses look better with fall clothes anyway. And I like my new brown hair. Did I mention I cut and coloured it? OK, well I didn't do it, a cute trendy guy at an overpriced downtown salon did it, but whatever.
Today I bought two CDs for myself. I haven't bough CDs for myself in years. But a couple of weeks ago I accidentally deleted ten gigs of music from my computer (don't ask how I managed to do that) and I decided it was bad karma from not supporting bands and artists by buying their CDs (OK, so I go to the odd show, but that's barely a drop in the bucket), so I thought I'd start making up for that a bit. Sure, I'm still downloading music like a mofo, but at least now I'm paying for some of it, too. Anyway, I got me the newest PJ Harvey and Sarah Slean. I'll let you know how they are.
The guy and girl working at the record store were both cute. Girl had emo glasses and they both had that shaggy indie hair. I need to get out more and ogle people. I'm rotting away at home and at work. Plus, almost every life form that walks by these days looks attractive to me, so I think that's another sign I've been inside too long. It's like prison syndrome, but without the gay sex.
Mon, Sept 5, 2005, 6:06 pm
I just had this crazy daydream as I was writing "Beaches Second Cup" at the top of this page. I was imagining how when I become this famous writer and die, people will find this journal and it'll get out that I went to Second Cup to write, and all the Second Cups in the Beaches area will argue over which Second Cup Lara Dwyer went to, and they'll start advertising my written work on the walls and stuff, and eventually Second Cup will get so huge it will actually totally take over Starbucks in Canada. Hmm, maybe I ought to go to a hipper, more indie coffee shop that doesn't have multiple locations. Then after I die and people find out about it, it will be THE place to go. It'll turn into the CBGB or Horseshoe Tavern of coffee shops, and all the indie kids will complain about how it was so much cooler when no one knew about it and how the scene is going downhill, and make sure everyone knows they hung out there BEFORE it was popular.
Speaking of indie kids ... I am both embarrassed and secretly pleased that I listen to a huge chunk of the bands mentioned in Questionable Content. I also think I have a mild crush on Marten, which I think is just yet more evidence that I need to get out more.
And on a decidedly non-indie note ... I just spent an insane amount of money on a top. An incredibly awesome, one-of-a-kind, patchwork-quilt-looking, made-of-recycled-materials top, but a ridiculously expensive one nonetheless. I'm pretty sure I've never spent this much money on a single item of clothing before, including shoes and coats. But you know what? It's the most fabulous thing ever, it looks good on me, I'm supporting a local designer, and goddamn, if a zillion dollar top will help me get out of this horrible funk I've been in for the last several months, then bye-bye zillion dollars. I won't make a habit of this kind of spending though. < /rationalization>
So anyway. Emily-Jane has gone off to Korea to teach English and won't be back for a very long time. This is sad for me, as she made up something like 75% of my social life (both because I hung out with her most frequently, and because I also hung out with her network of friends) and was lots of fun. But I'm also really excited for her. EJ .. if you're reading this .. how's life on the other side of the planet?
On a vaguely related note, I've decided I'm far too clever to continue to sit around letting my brain go to waste, and I'm finally going to get myself that liberal arts education I know deep down I've always wanted. I'm planning to go back to university next September. That gives me a whole year to save money and figure out exactly what I need to do to get into the university and program of my choice, and do it. I'm tired of fucking around. It's time to dazzle the world with my brilliance. I'm so excited, I've even started wearing my glasses all the time.
Back to the present.
Not much else to say .. except that I'm starting to feel like I might be beginning to come out of this hideous depression. I hope it continues.
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