I had my second day of class yesterday evening.I had a short essay due that I didn't actually start until yesterday afternoon, partly because of hecticness all week, and partly because of very poor planning on my part.
I stupidly didn't decide to actually print the essay off until like, 5 or 10 minutes before I had to leave for class.
That's when I realized our printer wasn't working.
Stupid, stupid, stupid! It hasn't been working for ages, and I forgot because I've barely needed to use it.
*sigh*
So I saved my essay to a disk and brought it with me to the university, hoping I could print it off there when the prof. called the 15 minute break he says he likes to have in every class.
I got there 20 minutes late again, this time because I was at home panicking trying to see if I could fix our printer. I couldn't. I walked into the class feeling like a loser as everyone looked up at me. The prof. asked my name, then handed the in-class essay we had to write in the last class to me. I already knew I hadn't done well, because we only had maybe 20 minutes to write it and I'm a slow thinker, and the time limit made me nervous. I didn't manage to write a conclusion, and I didn't include quotes, either, which were required. I got a C+ on it. Shame, but it's only worth 2% of our final grade. Still, it did suck. What I had was well-written, I think, probably, maybe, but lacking the important requirements. Ugh. I feel so incompetent sometimes. Perhaps I'm just not as smart as I think I am, but I'm not ready to consider that possibility just yet.
Anyway, so the prof. called a break, and I went to see if I could find a place to print off my essay. I found computers, but no printers. Fuck. OK, maybe I could just load my essay and then write it all down on paper as quickly as possible and hand that in. Nope, the computers in the library didn't even have fucking WordPad, so I couldn't open my essay.
ARRRGH.
I've never been as mad at myself as I was last night.
This essay counts for 10% of our final mark. 10 fucking percent. And I need to get at least a B in this course in order to be admitted to York full time in September.
As these thoughts ran through my head I began to seriously freak out, and I actually felt dizzy and nauseous. I realized the 15 minute break had ended, like ... 10 minutes ago. I felt like such a lowlife. I didn't know what to do, and I wasn't thinking straight. I panicked and went home.
Seriously. I went home. I can't believe I did that. I was such a basket case.
After I'd been home a while, James called, and I explained the whole horrible situation to him, going on and on about what an idiot I am. He was actually sympathetic, which was nice. Then he suggested I email my essay to the prof, since I have his email address. D'oh! So I did it. I emailed him my essay last night, along with a big explanation and apology. I haven't heard back yet. I hope he takes pity on me. I might call him today to see if he got my email. I hope he doesn't think I'm one of those students who just makes up outlandish excuses all the time. Even if I get marks taken off, that's a helluva lot better than losing an entire 10% of my final grade.
Christ almighty. My second day of school and already I'm fucking myself over academically. From now on I'm starting assignments as soon as I get home from class. Hell, I'll start them on the subway on the way home.
Goddamnit, I can't believe I did that. I'm such a knob.
Keep your fingers crossed for me, won't you?
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