SECRET CONFESSIONS AND OTHER THINGS I HAVE TROUBLE ADMITTING TO
- I like Fiona Apple
- I once saw Carrot Top on Just For Laughs and I actually laughed at one of his jokes. I mean, really laughed, hard. Like, my eyes were watering.
- When I was 16 I went through a phase where I thought I was a lesbian.
- I'm actually pretty sure I'm bisexual, but I can't really be bothered to label myself as such.
- When I was in the 7th grade, I used to call people "dweebazoids", and I thought it was the coolest insult ever. Even the other grade 7s rolled their eyes at me.
- I sometimes drink maple syrup right out of the bottle.
- I look at porn online more than most guys I know.
- When I was in the 6th grade, I had a pair of Blacktops (for those of you who don't remember these, they were guys' black basketball high-tops ... all the rage for a brief while). They made me feel tough because they were obviously for boys. My friend saw mine and decided they were cool and bought a pair just like them. I got really mad because it meant I wouldn't look quite so uniquely badass, so ordered her not to wear them. When she did, I gave her the silent treatment for several days.
- I used to collect trolls. I was really serious about it, too.
- In the 9th grade I wore a green marijuana leaf necklace every day even though I'd never smoked weed before in my life.
- Sometimes I shave my arms. I'm not really sure why.
- I used to make my Barbies have sex. I'd create these elaborate story lines, too, like for example Barbie would lose a bet to Ken and have to be his sex slave for a day, or Barbie would come in for a dentist appointment and have wild sex with Teresa, the dental hygienist, right there in the chair. I was only nine or ten years old, but I think my plots were better than the ones in most porn movies.
- I actually kind of enjoyed confessing that just now.
- I weigh about 30 pounds more than I look like I weigh.
- I almost confessed my actual weight just now, but I couldn't do it.
- In grade 7 I watched Blossom religiously and had a crush on Joey Lawrence.
- In grade 9 I told that previously mentioned friend that I had a boyfriend when I really didn't. I said his name was Troy and he had black hair and wore a dog collar. There was no reason for making it up, I was just bored and wanted a racy story to tell.
- Actually, I've made up boyfriends a few times before that. In grade 5 I cut out a picture of a boy from a Sears catalogue and told people it was my boyfriend. When they wanted to know why it looked like it was from a magazine, I said: "His uncle is a photographer for a magazine so he takes pictures with magazine paper."
- I was a virgin until I was 19, but it wasn't by choice. I was embarrassed, so I used to lie and say I wasn't one.
- When I was 11 or 12 I used to read Archie comics and trace pictures of Betty & Veronica when they were in bikinis except I'd leave the bikinis off and draw them naked.
- Sometimes after I finish typing an entry, I go up and change the time it says above the entry so that it looks like I didn't spend as much time on it.
- I'm going to do that with this entry.
So tell me ... do you respect me any less now?
last entry
-
next entry
older entries latest entry profile notes guestbook cam diaryland
Comments are temporarily out of order until I can afford to get a SuperGold membership again. Yes, that is also why all the images are broken. I apologize. In the meantime, please use the guestbook for anything you may wish to say. Thanks.
Ripest entries on the vine
Huh. - Wednesday, Jun. 21, 2006
Another Diarylander jumps on the LJ bandwagon - Tuesday, Jan. 17, 2006
Moving on? - Thursday, Nov. 24, 2005
Because how complicated can elephant hunting be? I mean, they're so BIG and SLOW! - Friday, Oct. 28, 2005
Busted - Tuesday, Oct. 25, 2005
� Ripe Tomato 2001-2005
Don't steal my shit. I'll send thugs. Oh shut up. I do
so
have thugs. Quit laughing! Look, just don't steal my stuff, OK?
