I think sleep should be sacred. Pure. Untainted with dreadful things, like insomnia, anxiety, and bad dreams.

I've been lying awake in bed. I know part of me is exhausted and wants to sleep, but my brain won't allow it. Instead I lay there, stewing and agonizing over things I wish I could just let go of. Over and over demanding to know why it is so. Why? Why? WHY?

I just want to not care.

And I can't. I can't not care.

And the best thing I can do is just continue to go about my business, go on living my life.

Right now, that's harder than it looks.

Where's my fix?

Why can't I just buy a packet of powdered instant happiness at the drugstore ... "just add water!"? Why does everything have to be so damned complicated?

Stupid life, with all its depth and subtleties.

Stupid human existence.

Stupid me.

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� Ripe Tomato 2001-2005
Don't steal my shit. I'll send thugs. Oh shut up. I do so have thugs. Quit laughing! Look, just don't steal my stuff, OK?