I was instructed to tidy my room up so the cleaning ladies can dust and vacuum it tomorrow. In the process of doing this, I decided to get rid of some things ... especially clothing I never wear anymore.Know what's left? About three tops, a skirt, and a pair of jeans. And I don't even like any of them all that much.
I need to go clothes shopping, I really do.
The worst part of this was discovering all these clothes I shoved back in my dresser three months ago when I came back from London. See, they still smell like my London apartment. Everything that was with me in that apartment that wasn't washed vigorously several times retained that musty smell, and I don't like it one bit. I was fishing in the closet for a blanket, and I came across the blanket I'd used in London. The musty-stale-smoke-glade-plug-in smell was overwhelming. I bundled it up, kicked it back into the closet and cried out "Go to Hell! You remind me of moving away from home to be close to my boyfriend and then being dumped as soon as I got there and having to live by myself for a month with no friends and no one to fucking talk to and watching that goddamn World Trade Center collapse on TV over and over and only having it remind me of the day I got dumped because I couldn't think of anything else at the time and taking 50 million falling-apart buses every day and passing out a zillion resumes and getting no interviews and no fucking phone calls and missing my family and being so bored I went to convenience stores just to browse just for something to DO and not being able to eat anything and crying myself to sleep every goddamned night! Fuck you, blanket!" ... and then proceeded to light it on fire.
OK, so I didn't really light it on fire. But good god, I wanted to.
It sort of felt good typing all of that. But I'll try not to do that too often, I promise.
And I think I'll put that blanket in a bag with all those clothes and give it to Goodwill. After all ... I'm sure there are people out there for whom that smell won't conjure up such heinous memories. And it's a nice blanket.
I guess that's all I have to say for now.
Have a nice evening.
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