I really hate my relationships with people. Most of them. No, this doesn't include James. I'm realizing that my problem with people is just that I really don't like a whole lot of them. Then there's the ones I do like, but it's rare I ever become friends with them, either because I'm lousy at that sort of thing, or they just happen to have enough friends as it is. Or on occasion I will become closer to these people, but I get careless or stupid or weird and cause them to politely back away, probably for their own good. I'd like to blame my lonely childhood and say that I just never really learned how to make and keep friends, but really, that's old crap, and this isn't Ricki Lake.

Really, I shouldn't complain, because I make no true effort to make friends. It all seems like so much work. Why can't people just come to me and shower me with attention? Oh, never mind. I'd probably just feel all overwhelmed and claustrophobic anyway.

Funny how as I type this entry, several people suddenly start talking to me on MSN.

I don't really understand anything at all. Never mind.

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