My grandma is here visiting for a week. She arrived yesterday. So far she hasn't made me want to strangle her, so I guess we're getting along. She can be a very difficult person at times ... although she always manages to seem innocent no matter what. The thing is, she's 78 years old now, and although she's in very good health and doesn't look her age, her memory is absolute crap. So whereas she used to be annoying for other reasons (ie. racism, pettiness, belittling comments), she's now annoying in her extreme forgetfulness. She'll insist on helping out unloading the groceries, tidying up, whatever, and then she'll ask us roughly ninety two times where something goes. But if we tell her to just have a seat and relax, she gets offended and feels unneeded. This is frustrating.

But anyway, right now, I can't complain. She's been pretty easy to live with so far this time, aside from the fact that she watches shows like The Young and the Restless at about five hundred decibels because of her somewhat poor hearing. Oh well.

I'm feeling weird about school. I'm finding I'm more and more troubled over the fact that my dad is paying for all school-related things. I feel this urgent pressure to .. well, to not screw up, but it's not coming from my own desire to succeed, it's from my desire to not disappoint my dad. And the thing is, I am screwing up. I'm not doing well. If it was coming out of my pocket, I'm not even sure what I'd be doing or where I'd be going for school right now. I should probably talk to my dad about this.

Right now, I'm going to go chat with the gerbils about it and see what they think.

Later.

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