I'm due for another real diary entry here, aren't I.Weird things have been going on with me in my online life. Lots of arguments and hurt feelings and confusion.
I'm still confused and hurt about one thing/issue with someone. The person in question knows who they are, and I'd rather not go on about it after this entry, so I won't. I want things to be resolved, but I honestly don't see them ever talking to me again, despite my nagging, relentless efforts. Which sucks. I think I've lost a good friend. What sucks more is that I still have no idea how it happened. I feel really selfish for being so upset about their ignoring me when they've so clearly got other difficult things going on in their life ... but I can't help it. I read people's guestbooks, I see that they're signing them and being all friendly with everyone but me, and I don't know what I did to deserve it. I don't care so much about their initial reaction to whatever it was about me that was upsetting them. What bothers me is the way they're continuing to ignore me now that they've (hopefully) realized it was a misunderstanding, especially when they must be aware of how hurt I am by it. But then, maybe they still think I spurned them somehow. Who knows. I'm obsessing over the issue, because for some reason I can't get it out of my mind.
I need to stop talking about this. It's making my stomach knot up.
So I'm doing alright in the course I'm taking. I got A's on both the essays I've handed in so far, not counting that damned in-class-worth-2%-of-our-mark essay we had on the first day. I did both of my essays at the last minute, and I honestly wasn't expecting to do that well on them. Also, we had our mid-term exam on Tuesday, and I *think* I did alright on it. I hope. All I need is a B in this course, and I'm in the clear. Keep your fingers crossed for me.
My hair is fading, but still very blue. I'm impressed. I thought it would have faded to a bleached blonde with a greenish tint by now. And I wouldn't have enjoyed that.
Things with James are fabulous as ever, aside from the fact that I don't see him as often as I'd like to. He's so much fun. I like how laid-back he is. I'm not very laid-back, but I feel more at ease around him. Most importantly, I'm myself around him. I don't feel the need to hide things. It's a great feeling.
So Chiv might be coming to visit at some point within the next several months. I hope he does. That would be so incredibly exciting. I've never met an online friend from that far away before. I hope it happens. It would be the ultimate online meeting. Well, tied with Carn's visit next summer. Damn, I wish travelling from country to country was quicker, cheaper, and easier. I'd do it all the damn time.
It's nearly 3 pm, and I need a shower. Off I go. Adios.
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