Gah.Having a social life (albeit a small one) and still trying to maintain an online presence is trickier than I imagined.
I wouldn't dream of giving up the diary and log, but I don't really have the time or energy for chat or MSN these days. At least not the way I used to. It's all too damned much!
So James was over last night. We watched The Shining ... I'd never seen it before and he had. Freaky fucking movie. I'm glad I didn't watch it alone ... though I found it rather cute the way James did as much clutching onto me during the scariest scenes as I did to him. Oh shut up, I know I sound sappy, but it was bloody cute, OK? Leave me alone.
Anyway, Jack Nicholson is one scary sonofabitch. Christ almighty.
OK, I can't believe how ridiculous my lack of effort to find a job has gotten. I've even gone out several times, dressed nicely, with resumes in my bag ... and done nothing. Why do I do this? Why do I go out, see "HELP WANTED" signs, stare at them for a moment, and then keep walking? What's stopping me? It's as if I'm paralyzed. I must just be terrified of the idea of working. I wasn't fond of my last two (and only) jobs. Both were in retail, at stores with all-female staff, and paid about $7.50 an hour (don't forget, I am talking about Canadian money here). Both were during the Christmas rush. Both left me feeling frazzled, unappreciated, and incompetent. When it comes to work, I guess I've got a bit of an inferiority complex.
Heh.
Well, I am lacking money these days, and paychecks really would be nice.
Plus, I'd get my mom off my back about getting a job. Man, is she ever breathing down my neck. I know she would totally deny that, but she most definitely is. In her own mildly subdued way.
I suppose she's within her rights. I just hate doing things because someone else wants me to do them. I'm bratty that way. Nyeh.
Oh well. I'll come up with some brilliant solution to all of this tomorrow. Right now I'm tired.
Goodnight.
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