Ugh. I'm TIRED. My mom has taken it upon herself to drag me out of bed EVERY morning now before she leaves ... and although I appreciate her concern, I kind of wish I had a stun gun by my bed for when she starts knocking and opening the door at some ridiculously early hour. I've actually been up for a few hours now.
Here's the entry I wrote last night when I was deprived of the internet. Am I pathetic or what?Thurs, Nov. 15, '01, 7 pm
Our server's down right now. It's been up and down all day ... and yesterday. It's pissing me off. Stupid Rogers. When you have no life, discovering that you can't go online for several hours can be quite maddening. I mean ... what else is there?
So I'm typing this entry up in Word, because obviously I can't log onto Diaryland right now. I'd better be able to get back online by 10 tonight, or I'll be one cranky bitch.
I suppose I'll pass the time by going to Indigo or Chapters in a bit ... at least I can read something ... even if it is on paper and far less interactive.
I keep having these dreams about guys in which I try to kiss them, and they push me away. Or worse yet, they let me kiss them so as not to be rude, but they don't kiss back, so I stop, and I apologize, and they, like, nod compassionately as if to say "Yes, that was inappropriate ... I'm sorry, you're a nice girl, but I'm just not interested in you that way." ... rrrrgh! The guys are different in each dream ... sometimes it will be a guy I know, other times it will be someone I don't know except in the dream. The setting is always different, too. I'm not sure if they're really recurring dreams, since they're so varied, and I don't have them every night. It's weird though ... in all the dreams, the guy is always flirting with me, and touching me, and getting close to me, and even leaning forward in that I-want-to-kiss-you kind of way ... but then when I make the move, I'm rejected, and somehow made to feel as though I had no business making that move, like I was way out of line. And I feel terrible ... even after I wake up. This really bothers me. I mean, it's MY DREAM, right? Shouldn't I be able to kiss guys I like in my own goddamn dreams, at least? Seriously ... it's not fair. My subconcious must hate me. Maybe I should see if I can find some sort of book on dream analysis and find out what it means ... if dreams do in fact mean something. I don't know if you can apply common definitions to dreams though ... I mean, wouldn't the significance of a dream vary from person to person? I don't know how this stuff works at all.
10:34 pm
Well, the blasted server is still down. I've called the Rogers number about a million times, but all I get is a busy signal ... which I find weird. Don't they have hold, or call waiting, or SOMETHING? Oh wait ... Bell is Rogers' nemesis. That must be it. Oh well. I suppose I prefer a busy signal to that godawful music they play when they put you on hold. It's always Under the Boardwalk or something horrible like that. You'd think they could at least let you pick something you wanted to listen to ... I mean, can't they do that damned main menu thing with the numbers like they do when you call them? "For jazz music, press one." "For the blues, press two." "For the oldies, turn your radio on to one of ninety oldies stations aimed at baby boomers like you who can't bear to listen to anything they haven't heard a million times before." ... etc.
It's really sad, but I just don't know what to do right now without the net. Why can't Chapters be open 24 hours or something? I'd totally go there at 2 am if I could. It's the one store I can go into, make use of the merchandise, and then leave without spending any money. I've finished entire novels there (not in one sitting ... I don't have THAT much time to kill) without buying them. It's perfect for people with no cash. Funny how it tends to attract so many middle class yuppies instead.
OK, update ... I just got through to Rogers. Well, not really, I got that whole automated voice thing, but at least it wasn't a busy signal. Turns out Toronto "will experience difficulty connecting due to [somethingorother technical installation D4653GHP giga-mega-tron-access-kilo-byte-techno-crap that I didn't understand and can't remember]". They don't have an estimated time for when it will be fixed, either. Damnit ... I'd better be able to get on tomorrow, or things could get ugly. I've already had a fight with my mom tonight about the service being down. I think I'm in a pissy mood today ... but it could be because she was being annoyingly smug about lack of internet access in the apartment not affecting her within the next week or so, so she wasn't going to help me out. Bah. It's not like I asked her to march down to Rogers and get medieval on the bastards ... I just figured she might be interested in helping me contact them seeing as she's the one paying for this blasted service ... *sigh*.
Serenity now. Calm blue ocean. Deep breaths.
Lara needs a hobby. Then again, maybe the new job will fill in the time gaps. I still don't know whether it will be full or part time. The manager said she either needed one full-timer or two part-timers ... so we shall see. Incidentally, this chick has the worst makeup I've ever seen ... she's got the brown lipliner outline thingy around her lips, for starters (how can any woman think that looks good? No one's lips look like that! It's abnormal! Colour them in, for chrissake.), and she's also got this heavy black liquid eyeliner with this white, white eyeshadow that looks like some sort of lacquer. Her eyelids look like an old paintjob ... with the paint all peeling and flaking. And there's just way too much of it. Man ... my advice is this: if you don't know how to use makeup for its intended purpose (to soften and/or enhance one's features ... or, at the very least, to simply look more attractive), then don't wear it. Yuck. Unless of course it's part of some goth look ... then it's OK to get freaky, I suppose. But this woman is clearly not doing this to be freaky. She's doing it because she actually thinks it looks good. Who lets her leave the house that way, anyhow? If I looked like a circus clown from the planet Whore, I'd want someone to tell me before I was seen in public. Seriously. I'm not saying she's a whore, just that her use of cosmetics is more than a little misguided. Heh. Well, I'll have a field day with this, anyway, seeing as I'll be working for her. Fashion and cosmetic policing are my specialties ... (of course, this "policing" will only be done in my head and in this diary, because I don't want to get fired. But you get the idea.)
I think I'm going to restart the computer and see if the server's back up yet ... though I have a feeling it's not bloody likely.
11:42 pm
Still not online.
My mom's asleep in front of the TV. I just woke her up for the second time. The first time I had to tap her and shake her (gently, of course) for almost a full minute before she woke up. She awoke just when I was getting ready to check her pulse. That was scary. All I could think was "Shit, what if she's dead? I just had a bitchfight with her. Damn.". Moral of the story? Don't fight with people over stupid things like computers or laundry or money ... wait for something big and nasty and worth getting mean about. Like when someone plays Shaggy in the same room as you, or when someone enters a chatroom and says "a/s/l everyone?". Then it's machete time.
Speaking of a/s/lers, here is a great example of how to deal with the annoying little buggers. Try it some time.
I'm staying over at my dad and Dawn's place tomorrow night (tomorrow=Friday) ... so if I haven't written a new entry by around 6 pm, there won't be one ... I don't think. Unless they got around to getting internet service. Not that it matters to any of you, because I'm sure you've all got wild and exciting Friday night plans. Bastards.
I'm actually getting sleepy all of a sudden. So I'm going to go to bed now. Hopefully tonight I'll dream of guys who actually want to kiss me. Not like those other dream boys. Stupid wanks ... I'm a good kisser, damnit. It's their loss. Yes, even though they're merely a figment of my subconcious. They can all kiss my ass. No pun intended.
Goodnight. This will be posted once I'm actually able to get online again.
Oh, wait ... before I go, I just remembered something. This afternoon as I was walking through the outskirts of Chinatown, I noticed a sign above a restaurant. I read it, and thought the place was called "Nookie Nookie". The sign was in cursive ... and as I re-read it, I realized it was actually called "Noodle Noodle".
I suppose we can all take a guess at what's on my mind these days, huh?
last entry
-
next entry
older entries latest entry profile notes guestbook cam diaryland
Comments are temporarily out of order until I can afford to get a SuperGold membership again. Yes, that is also why all the images are broken. I apologize. In the meantime, please use the guestbook for anything you may wish to say. Thanks.
Ripest entries on the vine
Huh. - Wednesday, Jun. 21, 2006
Another Diarylander jumps on the LJ bandwagon - Tuesday, Jan. 17, 2006
Moving on? - Thursday, Nov. 24, 2005
Because how complicated can elephant hunting be? I mean, they're so BIG and SLOW! - Friday, Oct. 28, 2005
Busted - Tuesday, Oct. 25, 2005
� Ripe Tomato 2001-2005
Don't steal my shit. I'll send thugs. Oh shut up. I do
so
have thugs. Quit laughing! Look, just don't steal my stuff, OK?
