My mood hasn't gotten much better since yesterday. I'm finding myself feeling rather angry with people I know ... not because of what they do, but because of what they don't do. It's the indifference that bothers me so much. Maybe because I'm never indifferent toward people ... at least not people who've been in my life in some way.It burns me up.
I don't deal with anger very well ... I never know how to handle myself when I feel mad. It sort of scares me, because I feel so hot-headed and unpredictable. What if I'm just a hair-trigger away from suddenly snapping? I could be like one of those people who goes and shoots up a McDonalds ... and everyone who knew me would be those people saying "But she was such a nice girl ... I don't understand!". How do I know that couldn't be me?
30158641
See that up there? That's my icq number. If you have icq and want to talk to me ... well, please do. Almost everyone currently on my contact list is a complete deadbeat ... and if I don't get some people who AREN'T deadbeats on my list, I may stop using icq altogether. Let's go through my current contact list, shall we? (Note: If anyone on the list is reading this ... don't get all bent out of shape. I'm not actually PISSED OFF at any of you, I'm just stating the facts.)
(In alphabetical order)
Ben: talks to me when he wants booty. (Geez ... is that all I'm good for?)
Brendan: talks to me only if I talk to him first. Or when he's sending a mass message to tell people he's updated his site. Plus, he's one of those people who's always in N/A even when he's at the computer. Ideally, I should forgive him for this since he's in residence at university and most likely very busy. But being mad at him is just so much more satisfying.
Dan: is online once in a blue moon.
Derk-Jan: is a psychotic (but good-looking) Belgian guy who picks on me for being Canadian. He talks to me frequently ... in fact he's probably the most attentive person on my list.
Devon: is my 17-year-old cousin who uses a lot of teen talk and exclamation marks in her messages. She says hi now and then. I don't consider her a deadbeat ... she is family and all.
Elizabeth: is never on icq anymore. At least, I haven't seen her there in months.
Kat: is never online or is always invisible ... I'm not sure which. Haven't heard from her in eons.
Meredith: is just too damn busy.
Paul: is always, ALWAYS in N/A mode.
Sarah: is never online, probably because she has a life.
Skye: tends to be in N/A mode most of the time, because she's busy. But at least she has fun N/A messages ... that's something.
And that's my contact list. Don't get all mad, people above. It was all in good humour. But yes, you are deadbeats. Most of you, anyway.
Not that icq is that important. It's just online chit-chat, right? And it's not like I'm online ALL THE TIME (shut up). Still ... I'm beginning to wonder why I use it at all, under the circumstances.
It's time for me to meet real life friends ... I'm becoming one of those my-net-life-is-my-only-social-life people ... and I don't really want that. Though I do wish everyone in the world had a web journal ... and had their URL printed across their shirts or something. It would be a great way to get to know random people you see in public without going up to them and creeping them out ... then you could, like, e-mail them and comment on their webpage if you liked it ... so you'd have a reason to talk to them, you know?
Maybe I'm just a NERD. I think that's it.
Speaking of the N-word ... I'd like to point out that Weezer did not start the "nerd look". Elvis Costello did. Weezer does get props for making it cool again, though. And for making a very decent third album after Pinkerton, the abomination that was their second. I just love it when bands don't continue to suck after one faux pas. It means there's hope for us all.
Speaking of ripping off of Elvis Costello, though ... has anyone noticed that Jewel copied the opening base line for Who Will Save Your Soul from Elvis Costello's Watching the Detectives? I mean, it's almost identical ... just minor alterations. Seriously.
You know what else? I look terrible in those square-ish Weezer glasses. Terrible. But I look like one sexy bitch in those narrow cat's eye shaped ones, which kind of look like a more feminine version of them. I almost bought a pair today with blue frames ... but I realized that if I bought them, I'd have literally no money left. *Sigh*. Oh well. Once I get a job, those glasses are so mine. And in case anyone's wondering, no, these were not prescription glasses. I have great vision. I just dug the way they looked, OK? I'm not sure what it is with me and the whole geek-chic look lately ... I mean, I'm looking at glasses, I'm ogling nerdy boys ... I've always had a thing for guys with glasses, but it seems to be turning into some sort of fetish now. Maybe it has something to do with my becoming more and more of a netfreak every day. My Diaryland stats are going through the roof all of a sudden, too ... it's so orgasmically exciting. Up to 100 completely separate people are reading my diary every day ... (on a really good day). And since only a small handful of them actually talk to me, I wouldn't even know I had so many readers if it wasn't for the stats counter.
(Well, OK, maybe "orgasmic" was too strong a word ... but still.)
You know what's funny? I started this entry in a bad mood, and now I'm kind of in a good mood. I'm not too sure how that happened, but I'm glad it did.
So I'm off to do whatever ... may you all have a good evening.
last entry
-
next entry
older entries latest entry profile notes guestbook cam diaryland
Comments are temporarily out of order until I can afford to get a SuperGold membership again. Yes, that is also why all the images are broken. I apologize. In the meantime, please use the guestbook for anything you may wish to say. Thanks.
Ripest entries on the vine
Huh. - Wednesday, Jun. 21, 2006
Another Diarylander jumps on the LJ bandwagon - Tuesday, Jan. 17, 2006
Moving on? - Thursday, Nov. 24, 2005
Because how complicated can elephant hunting be? I mean, they're so BIG and SLOW! - Friday, Oct. 28, 2005
Busted - Tuesday, Oct. 25, 2005
� Ripe Tomato 2001-2005
Don't steal my shit. I'll send thugs. Oh shut up. I do
so
have thugs. Quit laughing! Look, just don't steal my stuff, OK?
