So I'm sitting at the computer wishing I could edit the days in my life as easily as a damn Diaryland entry.I am an asshole.
I didn't think I was. I really, truly, honestly believed that I was a good person. For all my faults, that was the one thing I could depend on. Yes, I was a dork. Yes, I talked too much. Yes, I could be a bit lazy. Yes, I was socially awkward. But I could handle all of that, because I knew that underneath all of that crap, I was a kind, considerate human being.
Well, I've shattered that last little belief I had about myself.
I am not "nice". I'm a complete bitch. And not in the cool sort of aggressive, take-no-prisoners kind of way. More like in the self-absorbed, spineless jellyfish sort of way.
I'm not proud of myself. And I still have no idea how I'm going to resolve this mess I've gotten myself into. No clue.
I just want to run. Run and hide. Or maybe rewind my life back to about one or two weeks ago ... and not venture where I did.
The anxiety is unbearable.
Calm blue ocean, calm blue ocean ...
last entry
-
next entry
older entries latest entry profile notes guestbook cam diaryland
Comments are temporarily out of order until I can afford to get a SuperGold membership again. Yes, that is also why all the images are broken. I apologize. In the meantime, please use the guestbook for anything you may wish to say. Thanks.
Ripest entries on the vine
Huh. - Wednesday, Jun. 21, 2006
Another Diarylander jumps on the LJ bandwagon - Tuesday, Jan. 17, 2006
Moving on? - Thursday, Nov. 24, 2005
Because how complicated can elephant hunting be? I mean, they're so BIG and SLOW! - Friday, Oct. 28, 2005
Busted - Tuesday, Oct. 25, 2005
� Ripe Tomato 2001-2005
Don't steal my shit. I'll send thugs. Oh shut up. I do
so
have thugs. Quit laughing! Look, just don't steal my stuff, OK?
