I've decided to start sharing some of the amusing conversations I have on the net. There's nothing like chatting online with complete morons to provide hours of entertainment for us sharper folk ... I highly recommend it.

Meet fly, an icq random chatter from Israel who lists his languages spoken as English and Arabic. In that order. Hmmmm � His messages are in orange. Mine are in blue.

HI

Hello

how are you ?

fine....

not too bad. and you?

very well

can we be frind please ?

(I wasn�t going to respond to that � that�s when the killer icq-random-chatter�s combo of neediness AND the inability to speak English became blatantly obvious � but then the sadist --or maybe the masochist-- in me felt the urge to continue.)

what did you say?

i didn't say anything

can we be frind ?

i don't know. what's �frind�? some sort of cult? is this some sort of initiation? oh my ...

yes what do you say ?

it IS a cult initiation? oh dear. what are the rites of passage? are there any ritual sacrificings? i don't like bloodstains on my clothes ...

what do you mean by ritual

this "frind" cult of yours that you seem so keen on � do you perform ritual sacrifices? you know, slaughter and such? what about chants? do you have chants? i can hardly agree to join a cult i know nothing about .. do you have any brochures i could look at?

OK ' it's give me much pleasure to talk with you. beacuse I'm spiecal man

it's given you pleasure? does this mean you�re leaving me? but i wanted to join your cult � my life is so empty, fly.

no broblem

alright. bye then. i suppose i should stop poking fun at people's lack of comprehension of the english language. have a nice day.

good bye nice weman

(Sometimes I wonder if these people actually pretend to be morons just for kicks � I mean really � "good bye nice weman"?? I swear, he must be mocking me. But why on earth did I even waste my time on this one? I mean, an idiot must have SOME basic understanding of the language they�re speaking in order for their idiocy to be entertaining. Oh well. I�ll find some juicier bait next time I hope.)

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Comments are temporarily out of order until I can afford to get a SuperGold membership again. Yes, that is also why all the images are broken. I apologize. In the meantime, please use the guestbook for anything you may wish to say. Thanks.

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� Ripe Tomato 2001-2005
Don't steal my shit. I'll send thugs. Oh shut up. I do so have thugs. Quit laughing! Look, just don't steal my stuff, OK?