I went for a long walk on Wednesday and wrote this in the paper journal.
Wednesday, September 29, 4:03 pm
I did decide to go for a walk. I wanted to be around trees and nature and all that, so I went to this park. I don't know what it's called. I'm still there right now. It's a bit strange. There are lots of beautiful trees, and a stream running through it, but it's surrounded by some ghettoey apartment buildings and other upleasant "city" stuff. I was just standing by the stream and I saw a few interesting animals. There was a very large female duck standing on a rock in the middle of the stream with her head all bundled into her feathers. It made her look tough. Then I was watching what I thought was a tiny black squirrel on the other side of the stream, but then I realized it was actually a rat. It reminded me of Olive. I think that's the first time I've seen a wild rat (aside from TV or whatever). Then I saw it being chased by a bigger brown rat. I guess that means the apartment building behind the stream has a rat problem. I'll remember that if I'm ever looking to get my own apartment in Toronto.
OK, there's a wasp lingering around me. I'll write more later.
.
.
.
I just went back to the stream, and the little black rat (or maybe it was a different black rat, that's what I assumed at first) was now on my side of the stream. He got scared when he heard me, so he dove into the water and swam to the other side! He just shot right across there under the surface like a little rat rocket. I didn't even realize rats could swim! And to think, mine always freaked out when I gave them baths.
I also saw a few red squirrels. Red squirrels are rare around here, so that was pretty cool.
Back to the present.
At that point the wasp came back and I continued my walk through the park. It's a big park, and the walk was nice and therapeutic. Don't get me wrong though, it wasn't this totally serene trip through nature. The stream was full of people's trash. There were beer bottles, plastic bags, and a shopping cart at the bottom of the stream, as well as what appeared to be an old metal bed frame. People are disgusting. I was going to say "pigs", but then realized it would be an insult to pigs everywhere.
I wrote more at work yesterday.
Thursday, September 30, 11:30 am
It's been a really slow morning. We've only had two people come in the store, and one of them was just giving out flyers. I have to go to the bathroom, but there's another spider in there, a big gangly thing. This one's hanging from the ceiling and not far away enough from the toilet for me to feel safe. Of course, I'm stuck here for another eight and a half hours so I'm going to have to face it at some point. That, or beg the guy who works next door to kill it for me. This is such a stupid, embarrassing phobia to have.
1:30 pm
A lady with no bum was just in the store. I mean like, none whatsoever. It just looked like her back separated into legs at some point. She was nice and everything, so maybe it's nasty of me to write this, but it was just so weird. I've seen people with nearly nonexistant bums before, but not like this. I'm glad I have a bum. It may not be as small or toned as I'd like it to be, but at least it's there. In fact, I think from now on whenever I'm upset about anything, I will say to myself "at least I have a bum".
3:42 pm
A woman was just in here with a big, wet, happy dog. I guess he'd just been swimming in the lake. He was a golden retriever or a lab or maybe a mix of those, and he was looking at me, doing that cute cocked-head thing that dogs do. He tried to come behind the counter where I was, and the woman said he always does that in stores because he thinks everyone keeps their treats behind the counter. I asked what his name was and she said it was Dakota, so I was like "oh, it's a girl then", and she said that no, he was a boy. Pfft. Honestly. Poor dog doesn't even know he's got a girly name. I would never be so cruel to an animal.
I totally need a dog right now. Dogs make everything OK. That whole story about Dante, the dog that stopped that guy from going on the killing spree just by being friendly brought tears to my eyes. Dogs are so great. I will own one one day.
5:53 pm
OK, I'm totally bored. I want a job that actually makes me feel useful. All I do is smile at the few customers who come in the store, and ring in maybe five sales per day. A chimp could do it.
Back to the present again.
Yesterday really was a long day. The minutes were just crawling by. Once I get some more credentials, I'm not going to waste any time looking for a better job. This one may be easy, but I'm bored and I want more money.
I think my body's going into starvation mode, because I ate very very little yesterday and I'd gained half a pound by this morning. This really pisses me off. The tradeoff for going through a painful breakup and being depressed is that you lose a lot of weight. That's the way it goes. Stupid body, doesn't it know this?
So I'm probably going to start exercising a lot now and trying to choke down those vegetables, because I know that the one thing that will definitely make me feel better about myself is losing weight. Yes, there are many other things I can and will do to feel better about myself, but weight loss is the only one that I know for sure will work. Besides, I need exercise anyway because it creates happy chemicals or something apparently. Endorphins, I guess. Maybe I'll buy clothes to exercise in today. The ones I have now are frumpy, and the last thing I want is to feel frumpy right now.
That said, I suppose I should get out of this bathrobe and into the shower.
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