Thanks to a link in Jen's diary, I've just today started reading Pamie again. I hadn't gone there much at all since a couple of years ago when the site that used to be called "Squishy" went down. Ohhh, that was a sad day. Those archives are nowhere to be found. And I so enjoyed her entry on what it's like to be a girl with big boobs (ie. unconsciously resting one's boobs on various shelves or other surfaces and looking obscene without realizing it), and that entry in which her panties were dropped on the ground near some foreign strangers and her boyfriend was unsure of whether he should go and pick them up in front of said strangers. I remember going to look for that entry to send to someone when I discovered that she'd taken down the archives. When I found out that Pamie came back, I think I was afraid to start reading her again.I have abandonment issues.
So anyway, right now Ben is at Burning Man, where he will get to see and grope nekkid women. I'm jealous. Of Ben, not the women.
The other night I had this creepy dream in which I lost my left arm. I dreamt I woke up from some sort of coma or something (I was in an accident or an explosion or something, I don't remember), sitting in this very chair in front of the computer (oddly enough, rather than in a hospital bed), and my mom was in the room. And I was like "Oh, I'm alive ... but where's my arm?!", and my mom was like "Well yes, see, you survived the accident, but the only thing is that you don't have an arm anymore." ... and I seemed to accept this remarkably well, for some reason, but I guess I was disturbed deep down. So then I dreamt that I went into my bed and fell asleep, and dreamt (yes, I dreamt I was having a dream) that both of my arms were still intact, and that my losing an arm had just been a dream (oh yeah, this is getting complicated), and I was all "Oh, what a relief!", and then I woke up from my dream within a dream, and saw that my left arm was still gone, and bandagey like before, and I was like "Damn ... it's still gone ... it wasn't a dream.", and I think maybe I cried. So anyway, now I'm awake for real and I have both arms, and part of me wants to be relieved, but another part of me is afraid that this is just another dream, and I'm going to wake up again with a bloody, bandaged stump where my arm should be. I wonder if I'd still bother type out diary entries with one missing arm.
OK, I've been meaning to address this one thing for a few weeks now. I thought it was just the maritimers who gave Canadians a reputation for saying "aboot" instead of "about" (they actually pronounce it "aboat", but people are easily confused), but apparently even I sound like I'm saying "aboot", according to some Americans in chat, and one New Zealander (it was you, wasn't it, Star .. or am I thinking of someone else?). Here is the wav file I created in order to illustrate the difference between "about" and "aboot" .. and people say it still sounds like I'm saying "aboot". Which makes me wonder how they say "about" ... and even more about how they pronounce the word "boot". And while I'm at it, here is how you pronounce my name .. a file I sent Star earlier, when trying to explain the pronounciation of my name by spelling it phonetically became impossible, what with our different accents and ways of pronouncing certain words and letter combinations. Although I must say that any of the three pronounciations of my name that I do mention are OK ... as long as no one's calling me "Laura". Is it so wrong that I just hate that? I tell those people to think of Lara Croft, but then find out that they think her name is "Laura Croft" as well, so that doesn't help. Stupid difficult name. Sometimes I just wish I was a Jennifer or a Jane. Actually, Jane isn't being used much anymore, so that makes it cooler. I think maybe we should bring the name back. It's nice and simple, and relatively unpretentious. James, can we name our daughter that? Yes, OK, so Jane and James sound alike and it could get confusing when I'm in the house calling one of their names, but I'll fix that problem by just referring to James as "Schmoopie Pie" or something. Alright then, it's settled. (I've got problems.)
I'm drinking coffee for the first time in a year or something. It tastes good. I'd been drinking tea with loads of cream and sugar for the last few months, and was starting to think all that sugar can't be good for me. I've always taken my coffee with cream and no sugar, and I think everyone should do the same. Sugar in coffee is wrong. Don't. You'll get used to it without the sugar after a week or two, and then when you do have it with sugar, it will taste absolutely disgusting. Seriously ... try it. I have yet to work my way down to black coffee, though. That's a tough one. I mean, I can do it, I just have yet to enjoy it that way.
Yes, aren't you just riveted? Hearing about how I take my coffee sure is interesting, I'll bet. Are you taking notes? Thought so.
I want to paint my room. I just got new wooden furniture, so I want a rustic look. What colour should I go with? I need to get new bedding, too. Maybe I should do that first. But I don't know what colour to go with there, either. Help me out with this if you're good with this stuff ... and think rustic ... yet still an eensy weensy bit feminine. EENSY WEENSY BIT .. not Crazy Go Nuts Flowery Pink. I have a few pretty candle holders and crystals and such on my dresser, and I don't want to be too stark.
I can hear my male rats breathing all the time, and it sounds like a soft little "whoot .. whoot .. whoot" .. it's kind of wheezy, really. Is this normal? I don't think they're supposed to be like that. I really can't afford to take them to the vet, which bothers me. $50-$60 checkups for RATS, plus $20 for a few drops of flavoured antibiotics if they need them. Honestly ... I only paid $4 apiece for those guys at the pet store. Next time I get a pet, I'd better be fucking rich.
Um .. I think this entry is more than long enough, so I'm going to end it now. Sorry, I don't know what got into me.
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Busted - Tuesday, Oct. 25, 2005
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