I wrote the following yesterday at work:Fri, Jan 28, 2005, 1:41 pm
I seriously need to start remembering to bring my journal to work. I'm writing this on scrap paper because I'm bored out of my skull and need to entertain myself.
So I bet you're wondering how my birthday went, aren't you? It went well. I got together with some internet-turned-real-life friends (Adam, Emily-Jane, Dan, Dan's friend Pavel, and SUPERCOOL BEN WHO CAME ALL THE WAY FROM KITCHENER JUST TO SEE ME ON MY BIRTHDAY AND WILL BE HORRIBLY UPSET IF I DO NOT MENTION HIM IN ALL CAPS AND BOLD LETTERS) and got drunk off my ass (does that expression even make sense?) for their amusement. Well actually, it was for my amusement, but I like to think they were amused as well. They all still appear to be talking to me, so I'm taking that as a good sign.
See, when I drink, I get very ridiculous. I blurt out private, embarrassing things (usually about myself, but sometimes about others too), I stumble and take out entire tables when I stand up, and I get really chatty and sometimes incredibly flirtatious. With everyone in the world. No, I don't get beer goggles, I just get much less inhibited. So worst case scenario, I wake up embarrassed, but not remorseful. With regards to the flirting, that is. I do feel remorseful about blurting things out. Especially when it's something like "Hey, so I hear you have gonorrhea. What's that like?". Yeah .. I'll have to work on that.
3:03 pm
Customers are annoying the piss out of me today. You know what? If you need glasses to read price tags, and you're going out shopping, BRING YOUR DAMN GLASSES! Do not have the poor minimum wage sap behind the counter (ie. ME) run around the store reading out the price of every single item that tickles your fancy. Also, don't ask me to calculate the discount price (we have a store-wide 40% off sale going on) of everything you like with tax. Do you REALLY need me to tell you how much a $5 item will cost at a 40% discount with tax? LESS THAN FIVE DOLLARS!!! Are you that strapped for cash, Miss Fendi Purse?
OK, I'm whining. I just need to either get out of retail or shut up.
So this week has been pretty social for me. There was my birthday on Sunday, then I chilled with Kat on Wednesday, then saw a movie with Dan last night. Three social outings in one week! That's madness! I think I'm starting to get spoiled from all of this, because I'm already wishing I had plans Saturday evening. God, I hope I don't turn into one of those "I must be doing something Saturday night or I am inadequate" types. I hate those people.
Back to the present.
I noticed that Timothy's bags have sperm and egg-esque images on them. Check it out.
OK, I know the "eggs" are supposed to be coffee beans and the "sperm" are supposed to be billows of steam, but there's no way whoever designed it didn't know what it looked like. Don't you agree? I know most of you thought I was just filthy of mind when I showed you the penis lamp, but come on. This is unmistakeable.
I still say that lamp looks like a penis. Don't start arguing with me about the proportions. I'm not saying it's an exact replica. I'm saying the suggestion is definitely there. Look at the shape in the first picture! Goddamnit. If I'm wrong, this is all Ben's fault. Fucking Ben.
I have nothing more to say. Goodnight.
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� Ripe Tomato 2001-2005
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