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Thursday, Sept. 19, 2002 - 4:08 p.m.
The Sims: Like Real Life .. except not. At all. But funnier, yes, a whole lot funnier.

Ah, The Sims. What a game that is. I'm not exactly sure why I'm so hooked on it, but I am. And I'm going to talk about some of the characters I've created, in the order they were made.

Rhonda Tomato: A sinister Scorpio. She sports short, sexy black hair, combat boots and shredded clothes. In the entertainment field, she started off as a day-job waitress and has worked her way up to B-movie actress.

Amy Cucumber: A romantic Pisces. She has long blonde hair and wears pastels. She is currently in the political field, though I can't recall what her position is at the moment. She and Rhonda Tomato fell in love, and Amy moved in with her, so now her name is Amy Tomato. The two of them have one sweet-ass looking house, which Rhonda built herself.

Crystal Cutehead: Based on the real, live Crystal, who has a tendency to call people "cute-head". Like the real life Crystal, Sims Crystal is a Scorpio, a neat-freak, and somewhat selective about her friends (she won't put up with just any old loser). She is currently working in the medical field as a GP, and this damn sweet-looking red stripey car picks her up for work in the mornings.

Michael Cutehead: Based on the lovely Carn. He lives with Crystal Cutehead, and they're very much in love. Michael Cutehead is a sensitive Cancer. He's very playful, and enjoys painting. He's working in the entertainment field as a stunt double at the moment.

Quiet Thought: Based, of course, on Qui. He's a dynamic Aries with long hair and a beard, and prefers dark colours. He lives a life of crime and is presently working as a getaway driver. He's also a good cook who paints in his spare time, and tends to get along well with children. Except on occasion when they innocently try to entertain him by showing him a yo-yo trick, and he boos them until they cry.

Geri Moon: Based on the babealicious Moonie. Geri Moon is a level-headed Capricorn with long, raven black hair. She is neat, organized, and responsible, but is very fond of naps and takes a little longer than most to properly wake up in the morning. She's a cadet in the law enforcement field (that's right Moonie, I actually took the time to ensure you got to be a cop. Am I cool or what?), and recently, after becoming closer and closer to badass criminal Quiet Thought, proposed to him. He accepted, and they now live together in Geri Moon's funky pad. They have an extremely high-tech, expensive computer, and a giant flat-screen TV, which they enjoy watching together. Quiet Thought is now known as Quiet Moon (Sims take the name of the person they move in with when they marry, no matter what gender they are). Doesn't that sound poetic? Anyway, they live happily in love together, the criminal and the cop. Awwww.

I�ve created more Sims, actually, but I�m done boring everyone with that now. None of the newer ones are based on actual people, so they�re not as funny.

James has a Sims Lara and James living together. I want to make a Sims us, too, but I�m just not happy enough with the options for our appearances. For chrissake, there aren�t even any pale, redheaded Sims females available. Pfft. I tried to download new Sims skins, but I can�t figure out how the hell to get them to actually work. Bah. I�ll look into it.

I�ll write another entry soon, and it will be less Sims-based. Hopefully.


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� Ripe Tomato 2001-2005
Don't steal my shit. I'll send thugs. Oh shut up. I do so have thugs. Quit laughing! Look, just don't steal my stuff, OK?